fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
