she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize