omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
