The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
