I wish I could teleport
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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