omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
