when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I skipped work to stalk him.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
