Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
