I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
