shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
