I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
