if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
