A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
