So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
