that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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