Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
