Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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