Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i believe in u and ur pee
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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