wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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