Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
