remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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