Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
