I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize