You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
