So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
