Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
