haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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