Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
