You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
