Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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