shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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