Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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