i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
