Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
