well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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