I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need moral support for this bender
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize