Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
