I wish I could punch you in the face.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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