the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
