you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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