Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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