i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
