There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
