The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
