That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
