In America we eat man semen.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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