no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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