I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
