Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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