During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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