she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
