Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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