im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
