You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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