p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
