she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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