Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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