Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
