In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
