yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
