i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
