you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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