The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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