Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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