And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
