Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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