You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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