She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize